Many of us have children. As parents, as individuals, we all have our own views, some traditional, some not so much (I fall into the second category, haha!). We have our moral code and our belief system. And each of us has our own perspective. But with children, comes a responsibility: to guide them as they reach for independence and branch out into the world. And to pass down those morals, perspective and beliefs. We share with them Our Story, and let them grow.
A few years ago, I was chatting with my Sun (I call him that, because he is a star). We were discussing his life plans, his goals and his methods for getting where he wanted to go. Encouragingly, I voiced my complete support of his thoughts and plans, with one cautionary comment: ‘Pay attention and follow the direction of the Universe. The Universe always has lessons and is constantly teaching.’
He looked puzzled, but use to my non-traditional ways of thinking, he patiently waited for me to continue.
‘Our lives should parallel a tree. But how? Three little words: Down. Up. Out.’ I looked at my Man-child (I love saying that) and lovingly explained the symbolism and lessons we can apply from the tree with just those three little words. It goes something like this:
Down: Before you venture into the world, as a young man or woman, you must be well rooted. Trees root themselves deep into the ground, growing DOWN (if you will), so other forces of nature cannot topple them. One must root themselves in their family, honor their father and mother. Listen to their elders. One must research their family tree to find their talents and abilities and gifts. Even looking into the family medical history, will give a brave young adult, a perspective on mortality and help to lay a firm foundation for growth. (I tilt my head at this point, as I continue, with a small smile) Sun, you even have to look at the roots (family members) who made mistakes and were not stable, so that you can learn what doesn’t work, what you must do differently. Trees - they grow down first.
Up: Once they are firmly rooted into the ground, trees begin their ascent upward. They are nourished from the ground up. They begin to stand tall, begin to gain girth and develop annual rings. These, Sun, are the years you learn right from wrong. You start implementing the lessons from your family (roots). You start seeing the sky above you with such clarity, that it feels like you can almost touch it. Things become simple and clear as you get taller and wiser, as you grow UP.
Out: Now is the time for you to branch out. You will reach, stretch and desire to meet new people and to try new things. Your surface area becomes greater, your branches casting comforting shade to the ground below, as you become confident in yourself and your abilities. You will travel. You will wander. But you will always keep home close to your heart, for that is where your roots are. And you will always return, when you need the comfort and/or nourishment and need to feel the connection to your roots.
My Sun was quiet for a moment, as he digested what I had just said. I continued: We, as humans, tend to do things backwards. We try to grow without being rooted. We reach before we are ready or rooted and we topple over. We are top heavy like a bobble doll. All big-headed and little sense. This includes not listening to your elders, not learning from them. Not respecting your parents. It includes looking at cheap examples of success and wisdom, when the greatest wisdom is right in your own family (roots). In a world full of conceit, jealousy, competition of who can care the least and contentment with being that blind - you must slow down. Allow your roots to grow. Allow yourself time to properly be nourished and prepared for your ascent upward.
On that day, I took responsibility for teaching my Sun, my star, a valuable lesson. There is a saying that goes a little like this: “Family are like branches of a tree, we all grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one.” It is with pride, I watch as my Sun implements this lesson into his daily life, his big (and small) life choices and decisions. For that is our greatest responsibility, to teach our children to become strongly rooted, so they can grow, with no limitations.
T.Williams
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